Leading with Heart: What Foster Teens Taught Me About Resilience

"I'm not worthy of this."

Standing in front of a 12-foot wall with the labels that she had been given her whole life at her feet waiting to be crushed into the ground, that is what a young, 18-year old woman said to me.

Her entire life, she had been given every label in the book. Some given to her by doctors, some given to her by society in the form of statistics, others given to her by the people who should have loved and supported her the most. Those labels then became the voices in her head which turned into her own perception of herself and self-worth.

At the top of that 12-foot wall, was a new label...

OVERCOMER

At the top of that wall was the chance to leave those ugly labels behind; to shed those negative perceptions that had become her reality. At the top of that wall was the chance to embrace who she was and wanted to be. But still her response was, "I'm not worthy of this."

Over the course of this past June and July, I had the privilege of volunteering and coordinating three summer camps with the Flint Hills Foster Teen Camp (FHFTC) organization. FHFTC is a non-profit organization that provides healing, connection, resources, and most importantly joy to teens (ages 12-18) in the foster care system. These camps aren't your average, everyday summer camp with crafts, games, and campfires; they are sacred spaces where walls are slowly removed, trust is built in their place, and resilience is rewritten.

A Place Where Walls Come Down

FHFTC’s mission is to create safe and transformative experiences for foster teens—many of whom have lived through trauma, abandonment, or constant transition. Their lives often include loss before love and chaos before consistency. When they arrive at camp, they don’t arrive with ease and excitement. They arrive armored.

But over the course of a few days, the remarkable begins to take shape.

A camper who refused to interact with anyone on day 1, takes a leading role in helping their team balance a large platform together. A camper who trusts no one in life because everyone they trust in life betrays them, trusts a group of other campers and their coaches to guide them across a balance beam while blindfolded. One by one, walls come down, not because someone forced them, but because someone stood beside them. Consistently. Kindly. Quietly.

Resilience doesn’t always look like bravado. Sometimes it looks like showing up, even when you would rather hide.

Here is what I know to be true: Everyone is trying to figure out how to lead their lives in the face of uncertainty.

The resilience I witnessed at FHFTC was not the kind written about in books. It was the kind learned in real time:

• Trust is earned slowly...and easily lost.

• Consistency is more powerful than charisma.

• People do not rise to your expectations. They rise to the level of safety you provide.

  
  

The Loop of Resilience

One of the most powerful realizations that these teens taught me is that resilience is not a finish line. It is a continuous loop that we process over and over when we meet various challenges or stages of life. It can look like

• Showing up scared...and staying anyway.

• Falling back...and trying again.

• Asking for help...and risking disappointment.

Incredible transformation can happen when people feel genuinely loved and safe enough to grow.

Leading With Heart

This summer, I did not just volunteer. These teens changed my life in ways that are hard to articulate in words. You have to be there to understand the powerful impact of this experience with these amazing kids. Kids who, despite the most unimaginable life experiences, still choose to place their trust in people they've never met. I learned how to lead softer, listen with intention, and love patiently.

I was reminded that growth is not linear and healing does not follow a timeline. Both are possible when we walk together.

Rewriting Their Story

At the end of camp, we ask these campers to do the seemingly impossible. We ask them to climb a 12-foot wall. No harnesses. No ropes. No hand or feet grips. Only with the support of the fellow campers and coaches around them. At the top of that wall is the label of OVERCOMER...because they ARE. They ARE the resilient, beautiful, amazing, dream-bound individual that every child deserves to be. It's not easy. They have to fight for every inch and trust the people around them to support them in a way they have never trusted before.

But these kids are the powerful model of resilience that should inspire ALL of us. They trust those around them when everything in them is screaming not to. They grab the hands of campers and coaches they only met just two or three days ago, even though 99% of the people in their lives have betrayed them in ways most of us could never imagine. And they climb that wall to a life at the top that is free of those horrible labels that everyone else has given them.

Remember the camper at the beginning of this post? The one who felt that she was not worthy of the love and support she was experiencing? The one who felt that the label of OVERCOMER was too far out of reach? SHE CLIMBED THAT WALL! She now knows that she IS an

OVERCOMER

Be a Part of Their Story

This organization is truly amazing. These kids inspire me and every staff member every time we have the honor of working with them. They are the true picture of resilience and hope.

But we are not done. We still have more to do.

We have a variety of needs to keep our mission moving forward; to keep this organization strong and to impact as many of these kids' lives as possible. I'm asking for your help! I'm asking for your donation. Your donation makes it possible for a teen to experience what love without conditions feels like. It makes room for trust to be rebuilt, for joy to be rediscovered, and for resilience to be rewritten in real time. No matter the size of the contribution, you’re not just giving...you are helping someone believe they are worthy of hope.

Please donate to Flint Hills Foster Teen Camp here: https://givebutter.com/FHFTCDONATIONS